Back to reality, crisis and mindulness

01/12/2019

It's been a while since the last post in English, I know, and I promise I will catch up on the missing translations throughout the week. Today I would like to talk about something else than trips. From the previous posts it might look like in here we are just travelling, partying, eating out and in general living an idyllic life. Social media kinda makes us wishing to make it look like it, and I must admit I also didn't resist the temptation. Well, it's not always what it looks like.

A month ago I started feeling something like stagnation, and this is something I absolutely cannot cope with. During the past 10 years, I got used to the fact that my agenda is constantly full and that I can look forward to going to new places, planning trips, getting to know new people, cultures and in general the excitement of doing something new. I also like to take the initiative and frequently come up with ideas and proposals, but for the first time of my life, I feel that I am surrounded by people whose level of planning and will to do things is not as high as mine. After all the "I don't know", "Maybe", "Let me think about it" (and then never coming back), I got confused. It hit me even more after coming back from Rome last weekend (that trip was amazing, I promise I will write a post about it asap). I am seriously considering solo travelling, I just haven't found the courage to do so yet. Those of you that already have experience with it, please, could you share your tips with me? I will be grateful to the moon and back :)

It doesn't help that for the first time in my life I have no vision what's gonna happen next, once this internship is over. I wouldn't care that much, but at least once a week some of my colleagues ask me about it. And I have no reply. Then I start thinking what I actually should do, and where? On one hand, seeing myself working in an office forever freaks me out, on the other hand, I don't think I'm brave enough to just leave everything and start teaching English in Nepal, for example. Like, by the time I'm done in here, I will be 28. Shouldn't I have this resolved it by then, have a mortgage, ring on my hand and hang out just with another couples?

To calm myself down, yesterday I made a list of things I should be grateful for: I am healthy, I have the opportunity  to learn new things this year, I live 15 minutes from the beach (and currently I am freezing my organs in here) and in general there is nothing to complain about. And yet... Maybe I really should start doing things on my own.

What usually helps me when I feel like this is taking a walk in the woods, but guess what - no woods in Alicante. There is a small park, but after half an hour I am just walking in circles.

So I wanted to ask if any of you is better than me in handling emotions, and feels like sharing? I will be immensely grateful :)

To add something nicer to the end, I am already looking forward to the trip to Madrid that takes place next weekend. We are going in a group, but since we have different expectations from the trip, I decided to make my own program and who knows, maybe I will set a new trend - solo travelling in the group :)

Have a nice rest of the first Sunday of Advent and I promise I will catch up on the  posts I still haven't published :)